One of the things we’re doing as of late, between getting ready for Alpha, and working out a lot of staffing details is starting to prepare for our legendary and seminal year end event: The Double Cluepon Holiday Party. This year, however…our Community Manager, who actually lives in Sweden will be coming over for some training, and to attend. So in the spirit of Nova’s 20 things to know before moving to Sweden…we thought about a good primer for her arrival in Chicago.

1. We drink just as much Coffee as you guys do over there. But we don’t stop there. This town is loaded with caffeine. From RedBull to Mountain Dew this town is awash with enough stuff to keep you awake for a millennium. Like all Americans, we also have a serious sugar addiction, so we’re also down with caffination and snacking at the same time. If you are not at least 5 lbs heavier by the time you leave, we have not done our job.

2. We use lines. First come first serve. While you will find an occasional establishment with a ticketing system for service, we use the tried and true method of lining up more. From fast food to movie theaters. We have line etiquette, and when people violate it, scenes are made.

3. To paraphrase Bruce Willis, we speak two languages here: English and Bad English. But Chicago has a great many little nuances to the local lingo. When we talk about “The L” we’re referring to our local mass transit trains. We also talk about our city in terms of neighborhoods, rather than by directional cues. “Boystown” refers to a specific area in town that has a heavy LGBT population. Andersonville is a place on our north side that, you guessed it, has its roots in a Swedish immigrant population. When we talk about “The loop” we are referring specifically about downtown.

4. Chicago is a shopping mecca. There is always something open. You can typically do general shopping here as late as 9 PM local time. You can grocery shop 24 hours a day. In this town, if you want something at any time of the day, it can usually be had with a minimum of fuss.

Don't let the morons fool you. Ketchup on a hot dog is fine.

5. At some point, you too will get your food from a tube. We love our hot dogs here. Be warned however, there are a lot of uppity schmucks who like to get stupid about Hot Dogs. Chicago has this unspoken rule that you don’t put ketchup on a hotdog. (The Chicago style hot dog), some hot dog joints don’t even carry ketchup. Straight up: anyone who acts like this is usually treated like an idiot by sane company.

6. Chicago is highly diverse, perverse, and is a wonder to behold. You will not only see men pushing strollers, you will see a cavalcade of what our society has to offer. From soccer moms to people who paint their entire bodies silver or gold and perform on Michigan Avenue. We’re a pretty tolerant bunch here for the most part. We have everything here.

7. We camp out for concert tickets. For denizens of Chicago, “camping out” usually refers to waiting for ticket sales to open, or being the first to buy something, or the first to see a movie. When it comes to entertainment, we are stacked. From musicals about co ed prison life complete with clowns to popular acts at neighborhood venues. There is always something to do.

8. The only things that unites this town are: Baseball, Football, Music and Food. We have the Taste of Chicago during the summer. Depending on which side of the city someone lives in is usually an indicator of which baseball team is their favorite. North siders are typically Cubs fans. South siders are usually White Sox fans. People love and/or hate the Chicago Bears pretty equally. Again, in keeping with how we define our city via neighborhoods…there are dozens of little street fests during the summer months. These are complete affairs, with music, food, etc. Whole streets are blocked in the neighborhood for these kinds of events.

9. This city needs to be seen and experienced during the day and the night. This city never ever sleeps. The city looks and feels vastly different during every 24 hours of the day. Seeing the city during the day will yield a vastly different experience than during the night. Both have to be witnessed to truly appreciate its diversity.

10. There is no “lagom” here. You will most likely see at least one extreme thing while you are here. Chicago is sometimes compared to New York in terms of city comparisons. I explain difference in people between New York and Chicago as this: In New York, if you ask a local a question, your response will often be “Piss off”. In Chicago, we will answer your question and then tell you to piss off. Not all New Yorkers are rude, and not all Chicagoans are nice. It’s a big city and the stress level is something you can often feel. While there is not an overriding feeling of “beat it, scram”, and Chicago is very welcoming…the city is also filled people who have a wide range of attitudes, cultures, racial differences, perspectives and points of view which color their interactions in strange and sometimes disturbing ways.

11. There is no IKEA in the city. The nearest one is in Schaumburg. What we lack in IKEA, we make up for with specialty shops, thrift stores, and peculiar little stores that sell everything from bongs with fountains to futons made of PVC pipe.

12. Shoe protocol. Shoes off in the house is usually dependent upon the people you are visiting. Some people have a shoes off policy, some do not. Always ask.

13. We have two seasons here: Winter and Road Construction. Winters here can be brutal. All other times of the year we deal with the fun and excitement that come with street closures, road construction and other types of infrastructure work. Another thing of note: we have a lot of cars here. Crossing a street can be as dangerous as playing with electricity.

14. Time here is relative. Our regional trains & buses have time tables. Our inner city trains and buses do not. If you take the L, or a city bus…you go to your stop, and wait till the next one arrives.

15. We have liquor stores. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some are better than others. The other thing is, you can buy beer and liquor at our grocery stores, and even corner stores and gas stations. We have bars that stay open as late as 4 or 5 AM.

16. Chicago is laid out on a grid system. City center for us is the corner of State and Madison downtown in the loop. It’s considered 0 North, South, East and West. Address numbers are generally assigned 800 to the mile. So you can reasonably figure out where something is, and where you are. This system is the key to understanding the layout of the city. The blocks are normally counted out by “hundreds,” so that Chicagoans routinely give directions by saying things such as “about twelve hundred north on Western” or “around twenty-four hundred west on Division”. Chicagoans can also usually tell by a block number and a cross street which neighborhood it is.

17. This is a city, and people steal things. Keeping your personal items to yourself is crucial. Don’t sit next to the door on the L and use your iPod in plain view. If you have a bike, use a front wheel quick release and lock both wheels to a post. Anything not bolted down in this town can and will be stolen.

18. While it’s a city, it does not necessarily mean its a haven for crime or indecency. We have our problems, but we are not completely uncivilized. Our police are pretty good, our fire departments and ambulances are top notch. While we don’t have a completely socialized medical system, nobody is ever turned away when they need immediate assistance.

19. We have a serious love affair with food of all types. We have curry, we have pizza. We have just about every single kind of cuisine you could imagine. From French to Ethiopian. If you starve here, its because of you.

20. We take our city fairly seriously. We have a great deal of pride in it. No, seriously. Chicago was built on a swamp. We have survived everything from fire to plagues of typhoid. Our city has been host to a number of very charismatic folks who had a very direct hand in how the city is today. We love our history as much as you love yours. We love talking about our city. If you want to know, just ask.